The atheist that wasn't there: Callum Blake-O'Brien

The atheist that wasn't there:


I pray up above, to the stars, to the sky,
I believe in my God without wondering why,
He took my happiness, my strength and my sister,
I wonder if he knows how much I miss her,
Even though I beg and will him to listen,
I just stare at the stars as they twinkle and glisten,
My personal saviour has failed to save me,
My tears turn to embers as I rage with my fury,
I wipe them away as I make my decision,
It seems I am no longer under his supervision,
OH what a fool I have been to believe in these lies!
I begin to act without saying my goodbyes,
I get in my car and turn on the ignition,
Push down my foot to complete my private mission, 
I go faster and faster until the world is a blur,
I take off my seatbelt and feel strangely secure,
I know in my haste I have become suicidal,
But what is there to lose when you've lost both your idols?
I can see the tree ahead, it's foreboding and surreal,
I simply close my eyes and wait for the sound of wood on steel,
The final seconds drag on, they seem to last for a lifetime,
I can't believe I wasted my life using faith as a guideline,
Then it finally happens, my choice to die,
My final act in defiance to lies,
As I accept my fate, there's a bang and a boom, 
In my daze I realise that this car is my tomb,
I'm jerked around and thrown by a violent force,
I'm scared but do not feel any signs of remorse,
I cannot live in a world full of delusion,
Instead I would rather die in seclusion,
I begin to laugh, then there's a cloud of smoke,
My final thought is that the world is a joke.

Callum Blake-O'Brien